Chemistry Fail.

So tonight is not going as planned. Meh. Poo. *sigh*

I got a 79 out of 150 on my chem test. It's BULLSHIT. Gah, I'm so upset. Hardly anyone did well though so at least I'm not the only stupid person, but I've never done so bad before and I really thought I was ok.

TA's graded it, so it makes no sense. He said we would get half credit if we got some of the answer right and that didn't happen. All my stupid sig figs were off by one...so I did the problems right, I just had A decimal number off all because I didn't round properly and he's shifty with the rounding rules.

We still get a retest, in the context that I can self correct my test and get half my points back. But that puts me at a 70 something. Fortunately I've got a 100 on all my homework problems, but chem lab is only an A- and that's shifty as it is.

*growls* Looks like I will be locked up in my room studying chem day and night. I'm not the big fish in the pond anymore and looks like I will have to up my game. Seriously up my game. FML.

Anyways, so I'm home early cause I couldn't stand sitting in class anymore. I don't understand the way he teaches and the more he tried to explain something, the more confused I was. All the stuff I got right on the quiz was all the stuff I learned through self-teaching, not what I picked up in class.

The most depressing thing for me is that I thought I was ok enough to feel comfortable to go to bed at a decent time and socialize here and there with people. But obviously I need to spend more time studying and less time socializing (like I do much anyways *sigh* ) and less time sleeping....*sigh*

FML.

Halloween

Happy Halloween everyone :)

In keeping true to the Nanning tradition, I have moved on a holiday. I write this from a corner of my room, I'm sorry - I mean "studio" apartment. I have a cup of coffee next to me, am finally through unpacking for the night and am about to start working on some school work.

I like my little room. I'm lucky, it's the biggest one in the house and I have my own bathroom. I'm down in the basement and it's painted green. Freaking everything I own man is green, what the hell? What if I don't like green? What if i decided that I like blue....no one will ever believe me. My back pack is green, my car is green, my curtains are green, my new hand-me-down recliner is green, my bedspread is green, my raincoat is green, my placemat is green, my garbage can is green, my pillows are green.....*sigh* Lol it's awesome.

I got really lucky with this place and as I've been moving in today I've decided that, God permitting, this is where I'm going to hunker myself down for awhile. The location is perfect, I'm minutes away from ROTC and less than 10 away from class. My room is down in the basement so I can barely hear the rest of the noise in the house. Yay!

It's nice. I spent a little bit more money today than I was comfortable, but I got everything I need now to make this home. I went out a bought a mini-fridge. I got a microwave from Ginny's boyfriend. I also splurged and got a little one-cup coffee pot - hoping that will help deter me from such money stealers like Tully's and Starbucks. I stocked up on some groceries.  Now I really feel like a college student :D ....it's nothing impressive and I carefully planned my meals to make everything stretch the next two weeks, but I'm proud of it. Really, when you think about it, you don't need that much food to survive. I got a box of oatmeal and some bagels for breakfast, coffee (obviously, and a box of tea in case I get tired of coffee) and creamer, a huge bag of apples, banana's, some sandwhich stuff for all my lunches (I did get some really expensive avocado's for my turkey sandwhiches, yum yum vitamins!) and then a bag of burrito's, some cans of soup and some mac'n'cheese to cover dinner.

Why am I writing out my grocery list? Yeah, it's kinda dum, but I get a weird pleasure out meticulously planning my diet and then following through. Hence why I opted to get my own little mini-fridge instead of using the communal kitchen. I don't want to spend money on food and have someone else eat it if I'm not making a regular paycheck, and I like seeing how long I can go between store trips - I always enjoy food more when I'm playing spartan lol.

So far everyone in the house seems cool. I'm the only girl, but the guys all have girlfriends except for Zach, my ROTC buddy....I think he has plans on making me his girlfriend, but he's going to fail miserably. Miquel is a 36 yr old gay mexican guy who manages a restaurant, he's really friendly. Simon has lived here the longest and he's a 26 yr old amputee who is kinda the one in charge of all the day to day house related stuff, I think he's a student and he loves to cook - he's been baking a pumpkin pie from literal scratch and I'm kinda sad I'm in the basement because the smell isn't drifting down here easily like it is in the rest of the house. Mike is about my age and seems to be the punk rocker, he's got a few turtles and is really social. Then there is Zach, who lives right next to me. He's a month younger than Kyle and was infantry before deciding to go to school. He's pretty chill but likes to party a little bit. I've told him a few times that I'm not into that and I think he's going to be pretty respectful - he's fun to hang out with at least and it's nice having a ROTC guy next door so at least I know I'll always be in the loop on something.

Yesterday I climbed Mt. Si! I went with one of my best friends, Elijah, and he and I spent a few hours on it. It was a 4-mile hike up and then back down. We went up about 4,000 ft. It was mostly uphill trecks through the woods until we got close to the top. The treeline broke away and we could see forever...it was beautiful. I got my first experience actually rock climbing. The very top of the mountain is all rock and stone and it took about 45 mins of Elijah and I delicately and nimbly navigating our way up the near vertical walls until we reached the top. I remember at one moment I was hanging there, my fingers gripping the cold, wet stone, my feet dug into grooves in the rock and my body weight pushed forward  - I looked down and realized that there was a good 100ft drop below me and that was just before I hit the trees. I just remember thinking "Wow, there is no way in hell I could have done this even a year ago - how am I not scared?".  I even mentioned something to Elijah that I use to be scared of heights and he didn't believe me. Maybe having Elijah there made things easier? I'm so happy I've worked so long and hard to have a relationship with him after we broke up. Outside of my family members and George, I don't think there is any other guy I'm as close to now. I think it's knowing that our relationship is strong because we overcame our breakup and can now hang out, laugh and have deep conversations still without any worry or fear about what or how the other person feels? I don't know. All I know is that he's a very important friend/role model/big brother to me now. I know I love him, and I'm glad that I'm able to beyond just a romantic level because I know there is a depth to our friendship that I don't have with most people. But enough about that and that rabbit trail, back to the hike lol. Anyways, talking to Kyle about the hike he got a little nervous. So don't get nervous dad when you read this, yes I was hanging off of a really high rock wall with no rope system and it may have been really cold and wet  - but reassured that I was safe. Elijah had climbed that same exact wall dozens of times  and he watched me like a mother hen as I was going up so I knew I was in good hands. That being said, I think I would like to go again next weekend and hike some more. It's a nice break from school. Elijah won't be there, he's going overseas in a few days and I won't see him till June. That's gonna suck - both of my best guy friends are gone now  - but that's part of making friends in the Army. They aren't going to be with you always.


Wow - this is a long message. I should probably start working on school work again. Love you guys - take care!

Leave the Leaves

I'm sitting in the Collegium with a cup of free coffee, curled up on a leather sofa in front of the fireplace basking in warmth and glow, taking a few minutes to be still and re-energize before I head off to the library to work on stuff.

Fall is absolutely beautiful here! So many yellows, oranges, reds and maroons - I love it. I'm finding it quite funny how the groundskeepers here at SPU are engaged in a daily battle to resist fall. Just leave the leaves!!! Why do you have to interrupt my quiet meditative walks across campus with the sounds of your rakes and blowers...GAH?

Actually, as much as it irritates me it also reminds me how far I've come. I know how hard it is to rake leaves all day (well sorta, wasn't really my job but I was in the same line of work, and have to do that every day - I'm sure those guys are miserable) ...so I guess it's good sometimes too.

Today we worked on rope bridges, fun stuff. Nothing like sliding across a rope between two trees at 0500. ROTC is going well, just very very very busy and intensive. Land Nav was good this past weekend, only got four hours of sleep between that and drill but I'm ok now.

Made a B on my Russian midterm yesterday!! Not bad for only being in class for a week ;) And I got an A on my homework....veddy nice, veddy nice.

So on my to-do list today:

-Chem review (midterm tomorrow...yikes)
-Presentation for Russian (I get to tell her about you guys, all in Russian!)
-Paper in PPHS about volunteering (snore)
-4 chapters of Asher Lev
-Russian oral practice (I hate calling it that, it sounds so dirty..)

Then I've got MSCI and tutoring. I should quite tutoring because it's actually becoming a bit of an annoyance in my sched, but I like it too much. I now tutor Andre and his brother Dmetry. They're "brothers" both the same age and adopted at the same time, but from different parts of Russia. They're funny. They had me dying last week.

 Last week during tutoring I helped them both with timelines they had to create for "Eastern Hemisphere" It was fun, Andre was in a good mood because he loves art. This is his strong man, one of the things he picked out for his timeline about Japan, I thought it was cute.

 This is Dmetry's time line. He had me rolling on the ground as he explained this to me..."So these are the Aryans invading India...see? I drew an acorn on his head. The liked acorns, it was part of their religion..so I made him wear it" ...HAHAHA! Awesome.

And here are the boys :) That's Dmetry on the left and Andre on the right. Andre is kinda striking looking, he's from an island between Russia and Japan, so he's looks kinda mixed. They're both 11. Dmetry is very sharp on his feet and is prone to be mischievous, he goes to school with Jordyn and I think he likes her but he won't admit it. He's scared of me since I'm in the Army lol. Andre is smart, but not in an academic way - he struggles with school. But he's really good at drawing and loves to create stuff, and it also very curious and likes to know why something is the way it is. He's pretty funny too - he likes to make voices for the characters when he reads. His Mom and I joke he should become an actor.

Um, Yay?

It looks like I'm in Ranger Challenge. All four of us girls.

Um yay? Training will bounce from 4 days a week to 6. We're being taken away from the main cadets and trained singularly. This morning was intense stairs (all I have to say is that I really miss Lubbock right now. It was flat. Fuck stairs.), tomorrow rope bridges, wednesday ruck-march (which sounds like it will be ruck run), then ropes again, cross fit friday, ruck march/range saturday.

Good training.

I'm so stupid. Ha.

Punch It Broomzelda and Hotdog Sandwhiches

This morning I hung up "Punch it Broomzelda" on the wall in the living room. I don't know if you guys remember her? She's the little wall hang mom made a few years ago with the old fat witch on a broomstick with a black cat trying desperately to hang on. It's one of the few things I brought with me from the old house. I had actually almost forgotten that it was packed away until Ginny and I went on a walk this morning and talked about the halloween decorations that people were putting up in the yard.

October is always the hardest month for me with Mom. It's not that it's her birthday, it's the fact that it's fall and halloween and that was a time of the year where she and I always celebrated together as we went Halloween shopping, got into Samhain. This holiday also bears strong resemblances and memories of the pagan side of our life together, something that was just ours.

I've really missed her lately. More so than usual. Maybe it's the autumn leaves, the halloween decorations, the holiday season that's arriving, or how my life seems so distant now from the one I shared with her. But for some reason she keeps creeping into my mind and into my heart.

Even this afternoon, as I sliced the hotdogs and put them on the grill, I think about the sandwhiches she use to make us. I think about her coming into the living room with a plate and a mason jar full of tea, chewing out one of the cats (usually Stormi) who tried to get on her lap while she was still trying to get comfortable on the couch and moving him patiently off to the side until she was done eating....

I miss our house full of cat smell (although I can't say I miss most of the cats). I miss all the weird witches decorating the house. I miss the big crochet basket and her "nest" at one corner of the couch. I miss the cottonwood shedding leaves in our yard. I miss the sweet tea. I miss the smell of spaghetti simmering all day. I miss the smell of pinion. I miss the cigarette breaks on the front porch. I miss how the house could never really, truly be clean (as hard as Dad tried). I miss hearing Mom talk on the phone from my room. I miss her watching Jeopardy and The Wheel of Fortune. I miss her calling me "Rachel-LA" to get me to come out of my room, I miss sitting on the front porch planning our gardens together (that never happened) and listening to her try to decipher her dreams...

I miss her.

Numb Fingers

This post will take a bit longer to type than my others. My fingers are numb.

I went to bed last night at 8 and got up this morning at 8. Holla! A full twelve hours of sleep.

Yesterday evening I had my art class and then Chem lab. *sigh* My chem lab partner is nice, but she doesn't do anything. Frustrating. After leaving the lab I went to the Collegium, the exclusive little lodge for commuter students and worked on my Russian homework while eating Mac'n'Cheese (I had one of those little microwavable bowels). While studying, Kallie, who works at the desk in the Collegium and is a senior majoring in Physical Therapy, came over and we struck up a conversation. I've talked to her a few times, she's really nice and we have good chemistry together. We ended up talking about my ROTC stuff, her Senior Capstone Paper (the first I've ever heard of it, apparently to graduate from SPU you have to write a 50 page thesis paper on a subject of your choice dealing with your degree) and just life in general. She convinced me that I needed to take the night off and just chill, especially after I told her about all the time I spent in the library. So that's what I did.

Last night I came home, changed into my pajama's, made a bowel of Ramens and watched a few episodes of The Fullmetal Alchemist. I love that show. I like how they combine science and military stuff in that anime and how it clearly advocates reason over religion and action over indifference. Hrm, maybe I picked it out for those reasons? My mind has been gumbo lately with all the scientific/reason stuff pouring in one ear and the religion/faith stuff going in the other. I know that it will take time to sort it all out, but still...

I didn't make it too long. I was in bed pretty early.

I got up this morning and went for a walk along the beach. Christiana called and I talked and laughed with her for about an hour. I miss her, she's a great friend. And now I'm here. The feeling is slowly returning into my fingers (it's cold outside, very cold).

Yesterday I had a PT test. I did really well on it. Not as good as last month, but far from failing. It was funny though, all the first year ROTC guys (the freshmans) failed and all the fourth years (the seniors) passed with 300's .....it's like a before and after photo shot.

But do you want to talk about SORE!? Holy cow. My abdomen, my back and my shoulders have never been so sore in all my life. I've been stretching them and all that good stuff, but it makes no difference. I impressed Ginny the other day when I showed her my stomach, it's tightening up quickly and I've got a little four-pack. Kinda scary. I don't really recognize it much.

Alrighty guys, well I'm off to gather my things and go to the library. I have SO MUCH WORK TO DO  *sigh*

Uniforms Attract People with Asbergers.

The title is reference to an event that happened to me today when Rachel and I decided to make use of her Coffee gift card. But I'm not going into it. The title says it all haha.

So I'm sitting here again in the library. My "home away from home". I kid with my friends that my goal is to be on a first name basis with all the staff by the end of the year. 

Not really. Ok, maybe.

I just finished my paper that compared and contrasted the Cathedral of St. Basil in Moscow with the St. Ignatius Chapel here at Seattle University. Gah, that paper was NOT fun to write. But it's done. 

I had another long day today. Got up at four, met my new carpool buddies at SPU at 5:15, jumped from there over to do an LLAB and we worked on Troop Leading Procedures. Went to my Pre-Professional Health Seminar at 8:30.....and it was BOOOOORRRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGG. Just a few Physician Assistants talking about how to go to PA school. I was not in the mood to listen to it for some reason. 

Left there and went to the library where I met up with Rachel. She and I have been working on papers since then (it's now 7, so that's what? almost 10 hours?). Granted, I had a two hour break when I went to Military Science class over at UW. That was fun, my NCO is a SF guy and the coolest, funniest SF guy I've ever met/seen. He's just cool. 

Got back over to SPU, met back up with Rachel and then was joined by another girl in my class named Kelly who is from California. I call her Amazon, she's about 6', nordic and very "classy" but down to earth. We sit next to each other in the art class and have a similar sense of humor. So we all got together and had a "writing" party. 

We also got hushed by the librarians because we were getting too goofy. Tehehe! 

Tomorrow I gots a APFT at 6am. Sweet. My muscles are KILLING ME tonight thanks to yesterday so this will be rocking. 

What else? I can't really say anything exciting has happened here in academia.  Just working through school and trying to remember to eat, which I discovered yesterday was the reason why I was so "fuzzy headed" and weak  yesterday evening. I was at school until about 10 that night, but I got a break when I left the library around 3 and went to go take a nap in the collegium. The nap never happened because I couldn't get my brain to shut down, so instead I got up and started working on Russian. Then one of my new friends, Jessica (who I first thought was super shallow and snotty, but turns out isn't) came over with food and I was like - OH YEAH! I have food too! So I made my Pad Thai and poured a cup of coffee (the Collegium has a coffee pot. Thank. God.). You'd be proud Dad, I hadn't had coffee in three days by that point. I can't explain it but the minute I sipped my coffee and took a bit out of my sandwhich I felt so renewed. I also spent a good hour just unwinding and talking with Jessica, until we both had to leave for Chemistry (we're in the same class)....it was nice :) 

*rereads post* 

Yup. My life is bland haha.